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Well, bugger!  
06:11pm 11/01/2010
Mom had a bad physical crash today for lack of better words.

I called her up around ten when she was at the hospital.  She had just finished getting blood drawn and was sitting around waiting until the doctor said it was OK to leave.

She sounded good, really good.

I thought "Finally!  She's doing better!"

At the bank I had reported what was then the good news to the people who were kind enough to ask.  I was touched that people remembered and still cared.  It's easy to run away but hard to stay and face the memories.  I knew they were all dreading hearing the answer only to be relieved to hear at the time it was good.

Around 4 PM when e-mailing Dad telling him what we had got in the mail he reported to me Mom wasn't well.  Her hip was so painful she couldn't walk very well and she was suffering from menopause like symptoms.  Lousy timing aside this was not good.

Mom's kidney count is too high.  If it stays that way the doctors will have to admit her to the hospital to get it under control.  They've doubled her heart medication and changed some of the medicine to hopefully change the numbers.  If not Mom will be admited to the hospital for a few days.

Grandpa isn't well either.  He has severe memory loss and is reverting back to his childhood.  He's falling down a lot.  I think we're looking at weeks to months, folks.  I don't think he'll be around by March of this year.

Dad's pulling double to triple duty taking care of everyone.  Thankfully he has the help of my uncle though it's hard work.

Until next time:  A truly wise man does not play leapfrog with a unicorn...
location: home
mood: fullfull
music: Over the Hills and Far Away by Gary Moore
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Been watching History Channel again  
12:49pm 03/01/2010
Yesterday they had their series about the seven deadly sins on.  It wasn't one of their best documentries but it more or less held my interest for about the two hours I sat and watched it.  The effects were pretty fun to watch and it did bring forth some points.

It also made me think.  Do these "seven deadly sins" still apply to us today?  These days with neurology being the way it is we can be told this is hardwired into our brains.  Which makes sense because we're humans!  We have it hard wired into our brains and bodies to feel emotions and the need to reproduce.  If we didn't feel the need to reproduce to carry on the genes the human race would've been wiped out a long, long time ago.

Alright, I'll bite.  Let's dive on into this....

For the record I don't believe there's a Hell in the center of the Earth where some dude with a pitchfork and horns is ready to torment us for every wrong doing.  I don't believe there's a physical Hell at all.  I do believe there is real evil on this earth be it in human or spirit form.

The levels of Hell let alone the vision of Hell were pretty much inspired by Dante.  This whole "if you commit this sin then this'll happen to you in such and such a layer of Hell" is all Dante.  Yeah, one man's writing pretty much terrorized us all as children.

Some say just by thinking or even doing these "deadly sins" we're all going to go to hell.  Hell must be bursting at the seams then.

Anger:  Again, this is a human emotion.  Let's face it, we're going to get mad, it's a fact of life.  Expressing emotion is actually healthy for the person.  It's not good to keep it bottled up inside.  Holding onto that anger and letting it fester into a hatrid is not good.  That type of hatrid rots one's soul out.

Emotions are neither right nor wrong, they simply are.  They're either pleasant or unpleasant and that's it.

Gluttony:  Why, oh, why does this only mean eating too much?  They say that we become gluttonous because we were weaned improperly as children.  I'm not going to touch that one...I'm not going to touch that one...

Eating is not a sin!  A person needs to eat to stay alive.

Humans receive more pleasure from eating than much of anything else.  It's hard wired into our brains from times of great famine where people over ate in order to keep going.

But again, why is it only eating?  What about hoarding?  That could be considered gluttony and yet it can be diagnosed as a legitimate medical condition.

Greed:  The desire of material wealth and gain.  I suppose in a way this one can go hand-in-hand with gluttony and hoarding.

Other than that I've got nothin'.

Lust:  This is something that's also hard wired into us in a way.  Many of us humans have the urge to reproduce.  In some cultures the idea of lust was not something to be shunned but rather something to be celebrated.  A few of the early, early Christian churches celebrated this.  The groups were eliminated by stronger and more powerful folks that didn't like them.

Envy:  Ah, the one no one wants to admit to.  We often will say "jealous" or something along those lines.

By the trusty Thorndike-Barnhart Comprehensive Desk Dictionary I bring forth the definitions of "envy" and "jealousy."

Envy:  "Discontent or ill will at another's good fortune because one wishes it had been his."

Jealousy:  "Fearful that a person one loves may love someoe else better or may prefer someone else."

It can also be used to describe a weaker form of envy.

Sloth:  Sloth lately as also been described as "depression."  The puritans really had a way of dealing with sloth until the puritan's leader started showing the signs then things got changed.

Pride:  To feel pride in one's self isn't unhealthy.  It can actually be quite benificial. 

When it becomes extreme one's got a problem.  When one is in love with themselves then there's a problem.

When I started writing this I didn't exactly have any certain thoughts in my head so I started scribbling out notes.  It's still scribbled, but yeah, it's there.
mood: coldcold
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An odd exchange of the day  
01:58pm 31/12/2009

So far Mom's doing pretty much as expected.  They said the sick feelings can last anywhere from a week to about a month.  The cells are starting to settle in so now it's down to the nitty gritty.

I was given an online gift certificate from one of my Dad's friends for Barnes and Noble.  I thought about it for about half an hour wondering if I needed anything.  Not knowing what to get for myself I knew Mom wanted the Susan Boyle CD so I went and got that for her.

I've been getting asked what I bought for myself.  I shrugged and said, "I bought that Susan Boyle CD for my Mom because I knew she wanted it and I couldn't think of anything for myself."

Sometimes I wish I had a camera for the expressions I've been given.  Sometimes I'm forced to wonder if people think folks of my generation are without selflessness.  I couldn't think of anything for me so I thought it should do some good for someone else.

Until next time:  Happy New Year to everyone!
mood: got a headachegot a headache
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Oh for goodness sake, grow a pair!!  
12:11pm 25/12/2009
I am...displeased.  When I start thinking naughty words in Irish-Gaelic it's not good.  When my voice starts taking on that Aussie accent it means I am angered.

Lately there have been some people who have been bad-mouthing my father behind his back and then acting sweet to get the "pat on the head" sort of thing.

Now let's get a few things straight here, shall we?

My father is not....

Being abusive
Being rude

In fact he has been going out of his way to help my mother and grandfather.  I don't see anyone else building a ramp to my grandfather can get out of the house.  I don't see anyone else taking my mother to her doctor appointments and making sure she has enough food and water for each and every day.

I sure don't see anyone else doing this sort of thing.

So in short if someone is going to be throwing around these false accusations I feel that they need to grow a pair and start telling these things to my Dad's face.

Perhaps the folks saying and spreading such rumors should look at themselves before making false accusations.
mood: pissed offpissed off
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Long time, no write  
07:38pm 24/12/2009
Ah, what has gone on here...

Quite a bit actually.

Mom has gotten her transplant.  So far, so good.  I've been told if there's anything to happen it'll start to manefest itself within another week.

Right now the medicine Mom is on is to protect the donor cells.  Then they'll reverse the procedure so it's Mom's cells that are protected.  For about a year it'll be immune system repressing an anti-rejection drugs.  After that it'll be anybody's guess.

I've gone over the possible situations hundreds of times in my head.  Worst case situation, the tissue is rejected.  Best case, it's a cure.  Either way it boosts Mom's chance to 50% of making it five years.

It may not seem like much but it's something.

I know the argument "But five years is a long time!"

It is and yet it is not.  It depends on the person and the situation.

So what do you do if you don't know you'll make it?  Do you wait to die or do you try to live?  Waiting to die would really suck.  Where's the fun in that?

Things will never be the same, there's no denying that, but it doesn't have to be doom and gloom.

A lot can happen in a year.

I can't say what will happen in five years, I don't know.

So what does one do?

It's their choice.  No one can make that desicion but you.

As for me, I've got a purring cat sitting on my cell phone, shoving her nose against my glasses, and trying to lick my face.

Until next time:  Merry Christmas, Blessed Yule, or whatever you celebrate.
mood: sleepysleepy
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Bone marrow transplant update  
12:26pm 22/10/2009
If all goes well Mom will be getting her bone marrow transplant in three weeks.  It'll be seven to ten days at Stanford followed by up to three months at her parent's house.

I think more than anything what annoys Mom is for those three months she can't have dairy of any kind.  I'd be annoyed if that were me.  There's so much that we make from basic dairy products and have to avoid them would drive me nuts.

If I remember correctly she also has to drink three quarts of fluid per day.  That's a lot of liquid and methinks Mom will be going through a lot of juice and water.

It's good that the ball is rolling now.

Until next time:  It's not every day you see your relatives in the papers.  My grandfather was famous for pranks like this...

It's the cartoon Pickles by Brian Crane.
mood: amusedamused
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Another doctor appointment for Mom  
05:11pm 20/10/2009
I don't know about Mom or Dad but I'm almost starting to get used to this doctor appointment every other day thing.  I still don't care for it but for Mom to get better it's got to be done.

In two weeks or so she goes in for another round of chemo treatment.  Hopefully she'll be around for Halloween to see the kid's costumes.

In other news this was sent to me.  A robot pillow...  Really!

If that thing were to creep into my bedroom I'd be running out of the house screaming.  I'd run to the garage and return with an axe to hack it into pieces.

Perhaps we best kill it with fire and then nuke it from orbit just to be certain...
mood: coldcold
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To sit quietly in thought  
06:33pm 01/10/2009
It is 6:30 PM here and I sit in my neighbor's house after a long day of babysitting.  I am dog tired and have two more to send to bed before my day is done.

A different house, strange sounds, one alpha kitty...

My mother has done battle with an intestinal infection of sorts.  I knew sometimes infection with chemo did happen but...yow.  The sarcastic part of me is thinking "When is enough enough?  Come on man!"

Mom almost died from an infection and was in critical condition.  Wasn't once enough?  Seriously.

But she is in the best place humanly possible.  That alone is some comfort and yet it's not the same as knowing the person will be okay.

So now what?

To be honest, hell if I know.

All I know the events of the day have been long ones, especially for one of my charges.  She is in the third grade and some fifth grade boys have been tormenting her calling her names and even going as far as to push her off the swings.

I remember those days well.  They sucked back then and they anger me now when it's happening to someone else.

When she came home she was quick to say that her day was "good."  I recognize the sign well.  I was eight once....

Through gentle prodding I worked the information out of her and wrote it all down, dated it, and signed my name.

She then wished to call her mother.  She didn't know how to work the phone so I dialed the number for her.  She and her mother talked for a few minutes before the phone was passed to me.  I agreed with her mother saying this behavior was out of line and needed to be stopped.

Afterwards I asked her if she wanted to watch TV.  She said no.

I asked her if she wanted to draw again.  Again, she said no.

I asked her if she wanted a hug and she said yes.  I held out my arms and she came right to me.  I assured her her mother would speak to the teachers about this behavior and see to it being stopped.

It reminded me of my childhood and the events that transpired.

It reminded me of those who are different and those who have no hair due to chemo treatments.

Perhaps we humans would be better if we stopped to think before we acted.

I also gave her my good sketch book because she liked it so much.

A sketch book is easy to replace, but a broken heart and soul isn't.
mood: pensivepensive
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I wanta work there!!  
08:31pm 24/09/2009
You know how they say laughter is the best medicine?  Guess who I sent this to.....

It's too bad that the nearest place is 400 miles away.  Blaaaaah.

But I wanta work there!  I want!  I want!  I'd want to work there just so I can answer the phone saying, "Good day!  Big-ass fans!  How can I help you?"


In much better and more serious news Mom is doing well. 

She's been getting platelets today.  It's funny how we don't always think that platelets either are or could be needed.  When Mom was home I was looking at her thinking, "That chemo is in her body right now killing her living cells left and right.  That has got to be a terrifying thought for her."

"Chemotherapy" is one of those words that we just do not like.  We hear it, we may not know what it means, but we immediately know we do not like that word.  Something in us automatically knows that this is not a nice word and it's something we don't want.

It's funny how things like this "happen to everybody else."  We never think it'll happen to us.

Can you think of anybody who goes "Oh yeah!  I get to get cancer in thirty years!  Huzzah!" ?

...Me neither.

What we often do don't think of is to everyone else in the world we're "someone else."  Maybe to different degrees of being "someone else" but we're always that.

So now what?  We wait for the counts to come back up.  For an average person that takes seven to ten days.

During that time Mom and Dad will be spending the time with Mom's parents.

I get to feed the fur-bearing stomachs--I mean--cats!

It's funny about the hospital.  Mom mentioned this.  She said it felt somewhat comforting being at the hospital because if something happened there's a doctor right there, but, it's not home.  When you're at home you are there but at the same time you don't quite have that comfort that you would knowing that there's a doctor right there.  It may sound somewhat odd but I understand what Mom means.

Until next time:  There's got to be an irony between my writing this entry and the music I've been listening to....
location: Home
mood: blankblank
music: When Johny Comes Marching Home
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I confess, I laughed like hell...  
09:20am 22/09/2009
Mom's coming home today and I find this in my inbox. Double yay!

For the record in the episode the Romulan guy is saying "It's a fake!"

For the record in the episode he was shouting "It's a fake!"

mood: amusedamused
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